spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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