Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
