We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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