the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
