it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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