I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
