similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
