Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
