why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
