Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
