What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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