nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
