God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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