Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
