I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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