I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
