Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
