Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
