Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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