is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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