When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
