Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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