don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
