did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
