6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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