He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize