I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
