I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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