I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She said her name was "party"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize