So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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