Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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