I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
