i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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