Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
