I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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