His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
