every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That accounts for only three of the penises
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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