Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
