It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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