so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
