Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
