smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
