were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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