he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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