Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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