god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
