Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize