all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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