Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
