My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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