put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize