There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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