I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
