Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize