Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
