Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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