see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
