you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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