I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
